So I was sitting around the other day, watching a Sex and the City marathon on E! (like I have done on many days.) All of a sudden I started having an entirely new perspective on this amazing show. Now what I may say later on could possibly come off as criticism, and I suppose in a way it is. I will say however, if this show was not so incredibly written, and acted, and wasn’t so addictive I would not even have the desire to write this piece.
Okay so let me get to the gist of this piece. I remember when the Sex and the City movie came out my friends and I got all dressed up (yes I realize now how incredibly corny that was) and couldn’t wait to see the four of them again and to catch up with what happened the last time we saw these ladies. I remember thinking, I can’t wait to see what is up with Big and Carrie? That same question is what brought on my new perspective as I sat and watched re-runs the other day. Most women will say that Sex and the City was just a realistic view of what women are going through, which I suppose has a kernel of truth to it. I am sure we have all been one these if not all ladies at this point. Some may say the show was a good example for women, and was some sort of liberation. That is where I beg to differ. Big and Carrie’s relationship was the worst example of what women should accept or expect in a relationship. Being honest each lady seems to be somewhat of a ”negative” example.
So as a huge fan of the show, as many many people are, we all know the Big and Carrie relationship was a huge storyline. While Carrie had many other relationships on the show, it was evident Big was the one she always yearned for. Here in lies the problem. Okay, so first Big and Carrie meet and they start to date casually and they face many of the same problems that relationships can have. She may have fallen for him faster than he did for her, which I get happens, someone once said to me, “women may fall faster, but men fall harder” so I get that. However this goes on forever and when she decides that they should be exclusive he is still seeing other people. Then they are in a serious relationship and she can’t leave things there at his house, he won’t sleep at hers’, etc. He basically strings her along for years. He then tells her he never wants to get married again, moves to Paris (which he didn’t tell her about by the way), and then comes back engaged! it doesn’t end there he invites her to the wedding, then after he is married proceeds to have an affair with her and turns her into his mistress (all with her gleefully going along with this while feigning fake guilt). The worst part of this is while she is committing adultery with Big, she has this wonderful boyfriend named Aiden, who is in love with her.
So after the whole marriage debacle, and Carrie losing Aiden, she moves on and starts dating new people. Eventually Aiden forgives her, takes her back, and is even understanding the Big will be a part of her life. Basically he is wonderful (or spineless depending on who you are asking). Aiden proposes, Carrie accepts and then eventually deciding she Is not the marrying type, again breaking Aiden’s heart. Fast forward a few years, and Big decides he is ready to be with her, chases her down in Paris and with no questions asked they are a couple. They live together for five years and one day tells her if she wants to get married then that is what they will do. Carrie Not The Marrying Type Bradshaw, acts as if it is the most romantic thing she has ever heard, and accepts. We all know what happens she plans this elaborate wedding, he leaves her at the altar, and she ends up marrying him in the end at a courthouse..smh.
My point with Carrie and Big being a horrible example for a relationships are that, women seem to look at it as idealistic, when in reality Carrie was a glutton for punishment. She should have really been with Aiden, that should have been the love of her life, but she instead chooses a man who disappoints her time and time again.
So I know I will get A LOT of slack for this because Samantha is a fan favorite, and honestly I enjoy her character. She is funny and she was also a good friend. Samantha was promiscuous, plain and simple. And we live in a world where double standards exists, and we all use them at some point. The argument will be well she is just dong what men have been doing forever. While that may be true, there are some things that men can do and women can’t, that is just the reality. As women we all want to march the streets and say that men and women are equal, and we can do anything men can do. However as soon as a man hits a women, we are the first ones saying, “what kind of a man hits a women”? And I agree with that, but if we are equal shouldn’t be the same as a women hitting a women? The answer is no. Because men and women are not equals on all fronts, which brings me back to Samantha. She slept with a lot of men, sometimes more than one an episode. One time even giving oral sex to the UPS guy delivering a package and Carrie walking in on her. That does not make her cool, it makes her slutty.
She finally finds a guy who loves her, (Smith) and is the hottest man she has ever been with on the show( since sex is her number one priority). She eventually let him go, you know for the reasons we all do. He was totally in love with her and bought her jewelry she wanted to buy herself. Another one who knows how to pick them.
Miranda was actually one of my favorite characters. Of course the one who could see through a lot of the bullshit that her friends were accepting from the men in their lives, was portrayed as cynical bitch. She was often seen as the moody one and a Debbie downer. When in actuality she was telling them the truth. Of course Miranda had her moments much like Samantha. She gets pregnant for an ex boyfriend she dumps because? You guessed it he was completely into her and she grew tired of him and decided it was not working out, sound familiar? When she is pregnant she decides to date, and even asks her friends at one point, “is it ok to have sex with a man if you are pregnant with another man’s baby?! The answer to that would be no. Of course her friends tell her they have to let him know first. Really? You can’t hold out until after your baby is born?
Dear, dear Charlotte, The naïve one, at least that is what we are supposed to think. The one women out of the bunch who wanted a family came across the desperate one. The one who was being unrealistic about love and relationships, besides being the fact that she one who still wanted to work on her marriage even after finding out that her husband was having impotency issues. Judging from the rest of their track records they would have been out of there in a second because they have left previous ones for less. The irony of Charlotte is that the one who comes across as pathetic is the only one who truly ended up in a fulfilling relationship, no cheating, no wanting to get his own place, just a husband who loved her unconditionally.
Obviously I have a lot of time on my hands for looking so deep into Sex and the City. LOL! But I hope you get the point. Was and will always be a great show!